Stop Searching
by diesector21
Summary: ...You already have what you need. Pre-TLC. Songfic: Say - OneRepublic


**A/N:** Yes, it's another songfic. Hey, I'm good with them! For those who don't get it, this is pre-TLC. It's only been a few months after Holly started up the PI firm with Mulch, so she's still kind of sensitive about Root's death. Which is precisely what this fic is centred around.

**Song**: Say (All I Need) – OneRepublic

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Artemis Fowl, or any of OneRepublic's songs.

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**Do you know where your heart is?**

**Do you think you can find it?**

**Or did you trade it for something, somewhere, better just to have it?**

**Do you know where your love is?**

**Do you think that you lost it?**

**You felt it so strong but nothing's turned out how you want it**

Holly walked out of the Police Plaza. Another criminal caught, another paycheck earned. Of course…it wasn't really a paycheck. More like a reward that only bounty hunters would go for. Holly shook her head at the thought. Bounty hunters, the lowest of the low. The title "Private Investigator" didn't help her mood.

Moments after striding out of the LEP headquarters, Holly turned down a corner, facing a massive street with fairies bustling around. A rougher section of town, there were various bars and low-rent residences that dotted the street. Street vendors called out, claiming special deals on vole curry. Holly ignored the sights and sounds, and started her walk home. Even with the massively lowered income she now earned, Holly managed to keep the rent on her apartment. It wasn't in this area of the city though; she had to walk past this dump.

**Well bless my soul,**

**You're a lonely soul.**

**'Cause you won't let go of anything you hold.**

**"Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"**

Holly cast her gaze to the sunstrips above. Some of them were broken, occasionally fizzling out a small burst of light before going out again. She had heard that the Council were investing in a revamp of the neighbourhood, but Holly didn't really care anyways. She didn't live in this area, and the Council could do what they wanted with their precious gold. _It seems like nowadays I don't really care about anything…_

Young fairies ran around, yelling out catchphrases from various television shows. Holly sighed, remembering the time she had been a child. _I had a problem with teachers, they were always so controlling…and then I joined the Academy later. Those were some good times, even with that annoying sprite Chix Verbil around. Captain Vein, everyone else, the best memories of my life._

**Do you know what your fate is?**

**And now you're trying to shake it?**

**You're doing your best dance, your best look,**

**You're praying that you'll make it.**

Holly thought up a few more LEP memories in her mind. Foaly, of course. He gave her another shipment of defunct equipment. Defunct, they may be, but certainly useful. They had helped her and Mulch net a particularly nimble sprite a while ago. There's also Trouble Kelp, who she had heard that he wasn't enjoying his experience of being Ark Sool's second-in-command. _Ark Sool…_

Holly clenched her fists at the thought of the ridiculous gnome. It was his entire fault! If he wouldn't have been promoted to Recon Commander, she might have kept her old job as a Captain, maybe even a Major now. Trouble wouldn't be so stressed, Foaly wouldn't be so angry, and, and…but, Ark Sool wouldn't have been Recon Commander if Commander Root hadn't died.

**Well bless my soul,**

**You're a lonely soul.**

**'Cause you won't let go, of anything you hold.**

**Well, all I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head**

**Say, "All I need is the air I breathe and a place to rest my head"**

Holly started running, a few drops of tears wetting her cheeks. That was it: Root. That was the entire problem. Her dear commander had been killed by the ridiculous whim of a psychotic pixie, and now her entire life was ruined. Her position in the LEP, her close relationships with other fairies, everything. Holly thought about the prospect of Opal Koboi rotting away in prison, but it didn't help. Holly's light jog soon turned into a sprint, and bystanders were brushed by her pumping arms.

**Do you think I can find it?**

**Do you think you can find it?**

**Do you think you can find it, better than you had it?**

An ancient polyphonic tune rang out of Holly's communicator. Judging from the tone, the caller was Artemis. Holly kept running, ignoring the rings. Artemis wouldn't understand, and even if he did, what could he even say to help me? Holly's thoughts continued, as loud as thunder in her own mind. She was blazing down the street now, everything a blur.

Artemis looked at his fairy communicator with an awkward glance. Holly never turned off her communicator, and always answered it. What could be going on? Of course, with Artemis' intuition, he decided to leave Holly alone for now, and hung up the communicator. _She would call back eventually_, he thought.

**Do you think I can find it?**

**Do you think you can find it?**

**Do you think you can find it (yeah),**

**Better than you had it? (Better than you had it? Had it?)**

Holly dashed into the nearest apartment and took the stairs up 3 at a time. If only he hadn't died…everything would be OK. There'd be peace in the Lower Elements, Mulch wouldn't be bothered by me, I'd be a Major, Artemis would contact me not as a consultant, but as a friend, and…and…

Reaching the top of the stairs, Holly blew open the door to the roof. Out of breath, she stop at the edge. Falling to her knees, Holly let it all out and cried. Why did things have to be like this? Why? Is my life going to be like this for the next millennium? Am I going to be stuck with this dead-end job and die without anyone at my recycling ceremony? What about those debts? What about-

**Say, "All I need, is the air I breathe, and a place, to rest my head"**

**Say, "All I need, is the air I breathe, and a place, to rest my head"**

A quiet, but still gruff voice was heard. "Stop searching, Holly. You already have what you need."

Holly turned around, still sobbing slightly, but there was no one there. That voice…she had heard it before. It was…Root? But how's that possible? Was she schizophrenic now? Or that was really Root, and he was simply advising her, like he always did? Holly's cries petered out, and beneath the tears, shone a slight grin. She could always count on Julius, even if he was dead.

Holly's communicator rang again, this time in the tune of Mulch. Upon pressing the 'Answer' button, a rather harsh voice was heard. "Hey, Holly, where's that check? Don't blow it on…whatever it is that you spend on! We still gotta pay the rent on this dump we call our offices, and I need my share of the gold." Holly smiled, Mulch could always cheer her up. "OK, don't get your pants tied, Mulch. I'm on my way."

Gazing once more to the burnt sunstrips, Holly turned and walked down the fire escape stairs.

A seeming-burned out sunstrip flickered for a moment, then comes back on with full power.

**Do you know where the end is?**

**Do you think you can see it?**

**Well, until you get there, go on, go ahead and scream it**

**Just say...**

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**A/N:** Initially, I was going to do the DragonForce songfic, but I couldn't think of a decent plot. So I went with this. I still like _such beautiful ash_ more than this though. XD

Well, that means I'll go start on Ch.7 of LotC…


End file.
